Not on Company Time!
by Bekquai
Summary: Tatsumi overhears a conversation between Tsuzuki and Hisoka and jumps to conclusions. ^_~


Author's Note: First YnM fic, treat me kindly. Also, I realize the premise is cliche. If anyone beat me to it in this fandom, you can be sure that I'm not copying from you because I haven't read it yet.  
  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing. A lawsuit would be pointless.  
  
  
  
  
Not on Company Time  
  
  
  
Tatsumi shuffled hurriedly down the hallway, arms full of paperwork. He had to deliver all of it to its respective recipients - bills for Tsuzuki, important notices for Konoe, bills for Tsuzuki, order forms for chemicals to be given to Watari, and some bills for Tsuzuki. The usual. As he walked, the tall man tried his best to organize them into neat piles. By the time he'd reached Tsuzuki's closed office door he was fairly certain there were few to no mix-ups, but then he nearly dropped the whole pile.  
  
"Oh!" came the sharp exclamation from the other side of the door, followed closely by a hedonistic "Mmmm."  
  
"Hi-Hisoka?" Tatsumi muttered to himself, eyes widening. Against his better instincts, he paused to listen more closely.  
  
"See? You like it. Don't try to deny it," Tsuzuki's deeper voice said in a seductive, coaxing tone.  
  
"Tsuzuki," Hisoka said, sounding out of breath. "But - mmm... Wait! We shouldn't do this here. What if we're ~caught~?"  
  
"Relax," the older man reassured him. "Tatsumi is busy in the other wing this time of day, and Konoe-kaicho is in a meeting. Watari and Gushoshin are all working on some research project in the library. No one's going to find out. It'll be our - little - secret."  
  
In the pauses between the last few words were suspicious ~slurping~ noises. Hisoka gasped, and Tatsumi flushed a deep shade of crimson. They were - Hisoka - and Tsuzuki - ~in~ ~there~ - when they were supposed to be working no less!   
  
"You think this is good?" murmured Tsuzuki. "Just hold on and I'll give you some more -"  
  
"I- I don't know if I can take any more - ah! Tsuzuki!" Hisoka cried out at the same time that Tsuzuki shouted, "Hisoka!"  
  
Tatsumi had to get his handkerchief to keep from bleeding on the documents in his arms.  
  
"Gomen, Tsuzuki, I just - " Hisoka started to apologize.  
  
"Ah, don't worry about it. I should have been more careful as well," Tsuzuki said, sounding a little mournful. "We should get cleaned up."  
  
Tatsumi couldn't take it anymore. It was one thing for them to explore their obvious feelings for each other. In fact, he'd been waiting for them to hook up for a while - he was in the office pool for it - but for them to go ~this~ far in ~public~ and on the job... It was inexcusable. He eyed the door as silence reigned behind it. He'd come back later and confront the two of them when they'd... calmed down a little.  
  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
  
"Ohhh," groaned Hisoka. "No more!"  
  
Tsuzuki pouted. "Come on. Humor me?"  
  
The feisty teen scowled. "I've humored you three times already. I really don't understand how you can possibly still be ready for more."  
  
"I'm just insatiable," Tsuzuki replied with a lazy smile. He contemplated Hisoka for a second. "Well, if you're not going to, I'm just going to help myself."  
  
Hisoka rolled his eyes. "Go ahead. I don't care. Just don't get it all over me... again!"  
  
"Hey! That was an accident! And it was just as much your fault as mine," Tsuzuki reminded him with a slightly hurt look. Then he smiled slyly. "And you licked your fingers afterwards, so don't pretend like you minded all that much."  
  
"We were out of napkins! What was I supposed to do?"  
  
Tsuzuki just grinned. Hisoka sighed and rolled his eyes again. "Baka. The plate slipped out of my hands because you shoved it at me too quickly."  
  
"It's going to take hours to get the frosting stain out of my tie," the chestnut-haired man pouted.  
  
"It's your own fault, bringing in a whole cake to eat on break. I don't know how you convinced me to try some," the green-eyed young man said in disbelief.  
  
"Well, I certainly didn't force you after that first bite," Tsuzuki said philosophically. He reached over and beeped Hisoka's nose. "Told you that one bakery on Chijou makes good triple-chocolate fudge cake."  
  
Hisoka batted his partner's hand away with a snort of disgust then glared at the remains of the oh-so-delicious cake in question. He really didn't know how Tsuzuki had snuck it in. After all, the big white bakery box would have been a beacon to every sweet-tooth in the building. When he'd asked, the older shinigami just winked and said, "It's a ~secret~!" Then he'd gone on to explain to Hisoka where he'd gotten it - a tiny old shop in some small town just outside of Tokyo that they'd visited on their last case - and that with it he would prove to Hisoka once and for all the value of a good dessert, Tatsumi's rules about food in the offices be damned!  
  
Hisoka had been skeptical at first, but after about fifteen minutes of non-stop begging his resolve began to crack. After another ten, he found Tsuzuki holding a forkful of moist, irresistible chocolate cake in his face. He'd looked up from the work on his desk and met pleading purple eyes. His partner was using the most underhanded trick in the book: the puppy face. Even Hisoka had no defense against it. So he sighed and took a bite.  
  
And. God. Wow.  
  
Of course Tsuzuki had tried to get him his own plate, but both of them dropped it and gotten frosting on their clothes and the paperwork. Hisoka now was feeling a more than a little full. Three pieces of that rich cake could feed a starving family, he was sure, and Tsuzuki had eaten even more. There were still a few pieces left, though, and apparently they were calling to him, because he was hovering over the desk as Hisoka got up to go wash his sticky fingers.  
  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
  
Meanwhile, Tsuzuki had hidden the cake box again and cleared the desk of crumbs. He'd taken off his tie and put it in his pocket, hiding the evidence of his illicit chocolatey encounter should Konoe or Tatsumi decide to pop in. He'd just pretend that he'd been in such a hurry that morning that he'd forgotten his tie. Then he thought back to that morning. Had he already seen Tatsumi or Konoe? Would they remember whether or not he was wearing his tie?  
  
And who should enter the office just then but a very irritated Tatsumi. Tsuzuki immediately became nervous. Tatsumi rarely showed emotion of any kind. Whatever was bothering him was serious, and it boded ill for the two shinigami. Could Tatsumi have guessed what they were up to when they'd shut the door?  
  
"What's up, Tatsumi-san?" Tsuzuki asked with a cheerful smile, trying not to show his unease. Tastumi adjusted his glasses before responding. Warning bells went off in Tsuzuki's head.  
  
"Tsuzuki-san," he began, "you've been here many years. You know all the rules of the office, even though you often choose to bend these rules if you don't break them outright. But... in all you years here... this is the worst."  
  
Damn. He knew about the cake. Tsuzuki's smile disappeared. "But Tatsumi-saaan," he whined, eyes widening, "That rule's dumb to begin with! I mean, if we're careful and don't bother other workers, what does it matter what we do on our breaks?"  
  
Tatsumi looked significantly at Tsuzuki's unbuttoned and tie-less collar. "It is highly unprofessional to start with, and besides we're not paying you to... satisfy your needs. Save it for after hours."  
  
"Tsuzuki, I think the people out there heard us - uh-oh," Hisoka said as he entered the room, spotting Tatsumi a second too late. He took a step back, then his surprised expression turned angry as he glared at Tsuzuki. "You idiot! You said we wouldn't get caught!"  
  
Tsuzuki hung his head. "Gomen nasai, Hisoka. Tatsumi-san, please don't punish him. He was only doing it to humor me."  
  
Tatsumi made a strange choked noise. He'd never realized how forward Tsuzuki could be. "That's hardly the point. Both of you are in violation of the rules. You've disturbed the entire office, you know."  
  
Hisoka at least had the grace to look embarrassed, but Tsuzuki just sighed. "Well, since everyone already knows, I suppose I could be generous then. I'll put the leftovers in the employee lounge."  
  
"Wh-what? Leftovers?" Tatsumi asked faintly, totally thrown for a loop.  
  
"Yeah, I guess. I mean, the cake was supposed to be just our treat. That's the reason I didn't just put it in the lounge in the first place. Last time I brought dessert, I didn't even get a piece! Neither did Hisoka, not that he ever appreciates it," Tsuzuki said with a sad shake of his head. He reached under the desk and got the white box with the remains of the cake and opened it. Then he turned back to face the shell-shocked Tatsumi with a big grin. "Would you like a piece?"  
  
Tatsumi resisted the urge to fall over. "Th-that's..."  
  
Hisoka rolled his eyes. "Honestly, I've never understood why this whole office is so anal about snacks."  
  
"So you two were - eating?" Tatsumi managed to stammer. Both of his co-workers looked at him with blank expressions, then exchanged a confused look.  
  
"Yeah," Hisoka said. "What did you think we were doing?"  
  
Loud crashes were hear as nearly everyone in Enmacho fell over. Tatsumi thought furiously, replaying the conversation in his head. So this entire time they'd been discussing two completely different topics. But years upon years of being in charge gave Tatsumi ability to save his ass from serious embarrassment. He recovered from his shock in record time, straightening and coughing into his hand.  
  
"Ah, yes. You two are in serious trouble. You know the rules about food in the office," he said in his most no-nonsense voice. He took the box from Tsuzuki's unresisting fingers. "I'll have to confiscate this. If it happens again, I'll be forced to take drastic action."  
  
"Hai," Tsuzuki and Hisoka chorused with heads bowed with shame.  
  
Tatsumi exited without further ado, and nearly smashed the cake when he ran headlong into Watari, who looked... miffed, to say the least. 003 glared out at the secretary from the curtain of Watari's hair, looking as vengeful as her master.  
  
"Tatsumi-san..." Watari began dangerously. "You said they did it."  
  
"Yes, but it was a misunderstanding."  
  
"You claimed you won the pool."  
  
"Yes, I did, didn't I."  
  
"But you didn't."  
  
"No, I suppose not."  
  
Watari smiled sweetly, grabbed Tatsumi by the collar and yanked him down to eye-level before shouting in his ear. "SO PUT THE MONEY BACK, YOU JERK!"  
  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
  
Hisoka shut the door to the office, a nervethrob on his forehead. "Idiots. All of them."  
  
Tsuzuki sprouted ears and a tail and bounded over to his partner's side. He beeped Hisoka's nose for the second - and probably not the last - time that day. "Aww, don't say that, Hisoka-kun. You're one of us, after all."  
  
The teen glared at him. "This is all your fault."  
  
Inu-Tsuzuki merely glomped onto his arm. "Maa, don't say that either. After all, you enjoyed it... a lot," he said, whispering the last directly into Hisoka's ear. The boy started and blushed furiously.  
  
"S-stop that!"  
  
"Ne, Hisoka-kun," Tsuzuki said. "You have a smudge of frosting on your cheek."  
  
Before Hisoka could reach up to get rid of said smear, though, Tsuzuki leaned a little closer and brushed his lips over the spot. Hisoka's breath caught in his throat as his stomach flipped, his blush darkening.  
  
"Tsuzuki," he muttered in a warning tone. "Not here. Wait till we get home."  
  
Tsuzuki stopped but did not pull away. Instead he wrapped an arm around Hisoka's waist and chuckled into his sandy-blond hair. "Yeah, it'd be a shame if someone actually won the pool. Half the fun is keeping them guessing."  
  
  
  
  
END  
  
  
  
Well? Please review. 


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